How can you ask others to love you if you can’t? How can you love others if you can’t even love yourself? There is so much self hate and negativity in the world. And so many expectations and that is where much of the hate, sadness and disappointment comes from.
You are expected to have lots of friends and a great social life, a fantastic relationship (with an amazing sex life of course), you are expected to have a uni degree with excellent marks and get a well paid job practically before you finish your last exam (and you better get a pay rise in your first performance review you looser!). You’re also expected to have an incredible body, you should be strong, but also skinny (even though they say strong is the new skinny, judging by all the pictures around the world wide web, strong is not enough – an extremely low body fat percentage is also expected), you should be flexible, a great runner and preferably compete in an extreme sport. You should of course eat organic, grass fed and raw as much as possible, but please don’t be boring, make sure you come out for a drink or three. And what do you mean you don’t eat sugar? A little bit won’t do you any harm (but that egg yolk will give you a heart attack for sure!). Many people will also expect you to have a tan, even though it is the middle of winter. But please, stay out of the sun, it will give you cancer for sure. So will sunscreen, so you better stay clear of that too. But don’t be pale, it doesn’t look healthy, and you wan’t to look healthy don’t you? And on top of looking and acting absolutely perfect in your perfect life with a perfect partner, job and health, your house is expected to always look perfect too. Of course.
Oh, and I forgot about boobs. Because even if you run a marathon a day and have 13% body fat percentage, you are still expected to have perfect, perky, big boobs. If not, you can just forget about happiness and love and anything else that comes with it.
If you could only see what a mess my house is right now, while I sit here with my feet on the table having a glass of wine (yes I do that) and a few bites of dark chocolate with sea salt (yes, I do that too). I am still in my gym gear (I practically live in it) after doing a yoga class. I do yoga so I can slowly get a little more flexible and it helps my running (so, I am not in particularly flexible nor fast, but I enjoy both yoga and running). I also do yoga to calm my brain. I had a massive salad for dinner, the bowl is sitting on the kitchen bench, because I haven’t taken the dishes out of the dishwasher yet. I’m pretty sure my bed isn’t done either. Oh well. I do however have a uni degree of International Development with a major in Economics. I don’t use it though. But at least I have it. I love my job as a personal trainer although plenty of people expect me to do something more, something important (I can’t really think of anything more important than helping people change their lives). I have the best fiancé in the whole world (who didn’t buy me roses today, but left me a post-it note telling me I am his number 1 – beats any overpriced, poor quality rose you will find on the 14th of Feb) and I am blessed with friends and family across the world. And I am happy and I love myself (does that sound weird to you?).
I strongly believe I am happy and am surrounded by happiness, because I am happy with who am I am. I am happy in my own company. I don’t need others to tell me I am amazing (heck, I go around calling myself Awesome all day, I have started to believe in it) and I don’t need others to tell me I should be happy. I am. And my favourite new word of this week must be Fappy – Fat and Happy! If the sexiest man in the world (according to the internet) can be Very Fat and Happy right now – I’m pretty sure you can be happy too – whoever you are, wherever you are. Think about the things you are grateful for, think about the things that makes you smile everyday and spend a moment loving yourself.
I think on this Valentines Day you should spend the day showing love and compassion to the most important person in your life; Yourself. If you can’t love yourself, don’t expect others to love you either.
Awesome Ashild xoxo
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